Hard Feelings
by wharfcoyote
Summary: On the night of the blizzard, Dean finds Seth crying in one of the conference rooms of WWE Headquarters.
1. Chapter 1

_Monday Night Raw the Night of the Blizzard - 1/27/15_

_WWE Headquarters_

Seth finally allowed himself to crumple down against the wall of an empty conference room. If he was going to break down, he reasoned, this was a good place. He was alone and unlikely to be interrupted. He lowered his head to his knees and released the tears of frustration, hurt, and disappointment that had been building for months. Seth didn't remember the last time he had cried, but right now it felt good to finally let out some of his pent-up emotions.

Suddenly the door to the conference room opened. Seth tried to silence himself mid-sob. There was still a chance that whoever opened the door wouldn't notice him. He was crouched in the shadows with a long table separating him from the intruder. Seth refused to even raise his head from his knees. He simply sat in silence and willed the other person to leave him in peace.

Luck was not on his side.

"Seth?" a familiar, incredulous voice rang out.

Seth lifted his head and softly banged it against the wall. "Dean," he replied. No, luck was definitely not on his side.

"Seth, are you. . . crying?" Dean asked. Seth could hear the smirk in his former friend's voice. He quickly went on the offensive.

"Yes, Dean. Yes, I am," he snapped, exasperated. "Do you wanna take a picture so you can post it on Instagram? You wanna tweet about how pathetic I am? Tell the world how you found me crying in a dark room by myself? Well, do whatever it is you're gonna do, and get out, alright? Just leave me alone." Seth let his head flop back down and wrapped his arms protectively around his knees.

"Nah, I'm not gonna do any of that," Dean replied calmly, walking toward Seth. "You know me and technology don't really mix."

"So you going to stand there and gloat, then? Or kick me while I'm down?" Seth's voice came out much weaker this time, already weary from the confrontation.

"You gotta admit, you would deserve it," Dean responded as he sank down beside his former best friend, his former brother. "But right now I'm too curious. What's up?"

What's up? The question reverberated in Seth's skull, seemingly shaking loose words without Seth's conscious consent. "What's up?" he repeated slowly looking up. "What's up is that I'm a freaking failure, Dean!" His voice cracked as he forced out the words. "I can't beat Brock Lesnar, and this stupid briefcase I sold my soul for is completely useless." He hurled the briefcase across the room. "I'll never prove myself to you and Roman. This whole venture has been a complete and utter failure!" Seth's head collapsed back onto his knees.

"Seth, what are you talking about? Since when do you care about proving anything to me and Roman?" Dean asked bewildered by Seth's outburst.

Seth slowly lifted his head and turned to look Dean in the eyes. "What do you think this whole thing has been about?"

"By 'whole thing,' you mean selling out and stabbing me and Roman in the back?" Dean asked bitterly.

"Yeah," Seth sighed rubbing his temples. His head was really starting to hurt. Actually, after last night, everything hurt. Seth stared straight ahead and haltingly began his explanation. It felt good to finally say all the things he'd bottled up for so long-consequences be damned. "You know how in the last couple of months before the Shield ended-"

"Before you betrayed me and Roman, you mean," Dean cut in.

Nodding tiredly Seth agreed, "Yeah." He rephrased, "In the last couple of months before I betrayed you and Roman, you know how a lot of fans online were saying that I was the weak link? That I was the least likely to succeed when the Shield finally went their separate ways? That. . . that was really hard."

"Yeah, so?" Dean said impatiently. "Fans say all kinds of shit online."

"Yeah, I know. It was hard, but I could deal with it. Then I found out that you and Roman felt the same way."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean questioned raising his voice.

"I heard you, alright?" Seth answered matching his tone to Dean's. "We were at a restaurant a few nights before our match with Evolution. I left to go to the bathroom. On my way back, I heard you and Roman talking. You asked him who he thought the Marty Jannetty of the Shield would be, and he said, 'Well Seth obviously,' and you laughed and said, 'Well, we'll let the little guy ride on our coattails a little longer.'"

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise and tried to interrupt, but Seth held up his hand to silence Dean's protests. "And I know you are going to say that it was just a joke, but it was the last straw. You and Roman were always treating me like your annoying kid brother. It didn't matter that the Shield was my idea in the first place. It didn't matter that I was always the one to figure out all the boring shit: the hotel reservations, the rental car reservations, scouting for gyms, figuring out where to wash our gear. Hell, I even tried to remember which places made your allergies act up so we could have your allergy medicine on hand! You two were always fighting for dominance leaving me to play peacemaker. Well, I was sick of it, alright? I was sick of being picked on, sick of being doubted, sick of playing second fiddle to you and Roman while taking care of all the grunt work. So when Hunter approached me after the pay-per-view, yeah, I sold out. I thought that that way you, Roman, the fans would finally see me as something other than an afterthought."

Seth stopped his rant and took a few deep breaths. Then he continued, his voice strained, "But it blew up in my face, alright? I'm not an afterthought anymore, just a scumbag. A smarmy, sell-out scumbag in a stupid suit. And everybody hates me. And Stephanie and Hunter don't believe in me anymore than you and Roman ever did. That's why they saddled me with that stupid J &amp; J Security which makes me look even more like a loser, and I just have to smile and bear it, and act like it's all great because if I don't then I'm totally alone. And now, I can't beat Brock Lesnar, and I'm gonna end up a joke like Damien Sandow. And I can't even really complain about any of it because it's all my fault! I've made my bed. I know that. I'll lie in it. It just really sucks."

His outburst finished, Seth placed his head back on his knees. Dean was at a loss. He had wondered all along why Seth had done what he had done. He had wondered how Seth was dealing with the consequences of his actions. Now he knew, and he had absolutely no idea what to say. "Well, uhh. . ." he began but was saved from having to come up with anything else to say when the door to the conference room was again pushed open.

"Dean? Seth?!" Roman exclaimed, spotting his two former Shield brethren sitting amicably side by side.

"Damn it," Seth said, then again louder, "Damn it! I really am a screw-up. I can't even manage to find a private place to be miserable in." He stood up, retrieved his briefcase from the opposite wall, and stalked past Roman and out the door, leaving behind a tongue-tied Dean and a very confused Roman.


	2. Chapter 2

**One of the events mentioned in this chapter was inspired by Hyrde's excellent one-shot _Fall for You_. Check it out for the for the full story on how Seth helped Dean escape from the closet he was locked in.**

* * *

"What the hell is going on?" Roman asked, staring out the door Seth had just stormed out of. "You and Seth having private conversations now that I'm not invited to? You planning on leaving me too?"

"It's not like you would really notice if I did," Dean muttered under his breath.

"What's that? I don't think I heard you clearly," Roman said with an edge in his voice.

Dean rose to his feet and looked Roman in the eyes. "I said," Dean replied over-enunciating each word, "that you wouldn't notice if I did. You're always too busy to hang out anyway. But, to answer your question, no it wasn't like that. I was just exploring the building-"

"As one does," Roman cut in.

"So, I'm curious. Sue me, smartass. You wanna hear this story or not?" Dean bit back.

"Please, continue," Roman replied in an overly formal voice as he walked around the table and joined Dean on the other side.

"So I was exploring the building," Dean repeated, "and when I looked in here I happened to find Seth."

"So then you two just decided to sit down together and have a nice heart-to-heart discussion, even though for the last couple of months you haven't been able to be in the same room together without fighting?" Roman questioned skeptically.

"Well. . ." Dean hesitated feeling oddly protective of Seth.

"Well?" Roman shot back, growing impatient.

"He was crying, okay? Seth was crying, and I was curious. I told you already. I'm a curious guy!"

"So Seth was crying. And then what? You decided to comfort him?" Roman asked sarcastically, wondering if he was ever going to get the whole story.

"No. I mean, I just wanted to know why he was upset," Dean answered shrugging his shoulders helplessly.

"And why was he upset?" Roman prompted.

Dean paused, thinking about how to best answer Roman's question, then randomly asked, "Roman, did you ever, you know, thank Seth for all the stuff he used to do for us? You know, making all our reservations, washing our gear, that kind of stuff?"

"Dean, I don't see how this is really related."

"'Cause I didn't. The more I think about it, the more I think I was pretty much a dick to Seth most of the time."

"Look, Dean," Roman said firmly, "Seth has clearly been messing with your head. It's what he does. He's a master manipulator. He's probably trying to play some kind of mind game with you. You gotta snap out of it. He betrayed us."

"Yeah, I know that. I was there. Remember?" Dean snapped. "But what I'm getting at is that maybe we share some of the blame."

"He betrayed us!" Roman yelled. "He left us and never looked back!"

"He looked back," Dean said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Roman asked clearly losing patience with the conversation.

"There's something I never told you. . ." Dean trailed off looking at the floor.

"Well, what is it?' Roman demanded.

"You remember when the Authority locked me in a closet?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Seth got me out."

"Wait, what? You said there was a back door."

"Yeah, there was, but I didn't actually notice it. I was kinda, uhh, freaking out. Seth opened the back door. He remembered that I don't like being trapped." Dean shuddered slightly at the memory.

"Why would he do that?" Roman questioned.

"I don't know." Dean shrugged.

"Why did you never tell me this before?"

"I don't know. We weren't really talking a lot. You were doing your thing. I was doing mine. I mean, that's what we do now, right? Without Seth, we both kind of went our separate ways. And besides, you don't like talking about Seth. It makes you mad."

"Yeah, I guess," Roman shrugged noncommittally. "We are talking about the guy who stabbed us in the back. He curb stomped your head through a cinder block for God's sake!"

"That's another thing. . ." Dean looked sheepish.

"What are you talking about now?'

"The cinder block was gimmicked."

"What?"

"It was gimmicked. It wasn't a real cinder block. He wasn't really trying to end my career."

"And of course you didn't feel the need to share this information. Did you ask him why?"

"What was I supposed to say to him, Roman?" Dean mocked. "Thank you for only pretending to do permanent damage to my skull? I was pissed off and confused. I didn't know what to say."

Roman sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Maybe we should go back to the beginning," Roman suggested. "What did you find out from Seth tonight?"

"That he's miserable."

"Yeah, well, he deserves to be miserable."

"He thinks so too."

"You're not gonna make me feel sorry for him," Roman replied angrily. "He made his bed. He can lie in it."

"That's exactly what he said."

"Really? Weird." Roman paused as if trying to decide if he really wanted to ask the question that had been plaguing him for months. He let out a deep breath and finally asked in a quiet voice, "So, why did he do it?"

Dean sighed quietly and looked up at the ceiling, then plopped down into one of the chairs that surrounded the long table. He slowly rolled the chair back and forth as he tried to find the words to answer his friend's question. "He felt. . . insecure," Dean began slowly. "You know what people were saying on the web back then. That he was the weak link and stuff."

"So he dumped us to prove that he's not the weak link? I just got booed by a whole arena full of people last night. You think I'm gonna feel sorry for him because he was being picked on by a few people online?"

"Just let me finish, will ya?" Dean demanded. "I wasn't done. He felt insecure. He also felt under-appreciated. It wasn't just a few people online who were picking on him. We picked on him constantly, too."

"That's just how we were with each other!" Roman defended. "We all picked on each other."

"Yeah, that's what I always thought, too," Dean agreed. "But really think about it, Rome. Seth didn't really pick back much, did he? I mean, he always took it like a good sport, but he didn't dish it out much. He was mostly too busy looking after the two of us: making sure I iced my shoulder, making sure you knew what time it was back home so you wouldn't accidentally call home at a bad time, that kind of thing. I think he knew your daughter's schedule better than you did! So here he was taking care of us all the time, and we didn't even notice that he was really struggling."

"It's not like we're supposed to be mind-readers, Dean. He should've talked to us if he was having such a rough time."

"Do you really think that would've helped, though? I mean really? 'Cause I don't. I think if he had come to us, we would've given him a hard time. It's not like he kept it a complete secret. I remember him making a few comments here and there. And you know what we did, wonderful brothers that we are? We decided to joke about him being the Marty Jannetty of the Shield where he could hear us."

"But, he didn't hear us," Roman pointed out.

"Oh, he heard us alright. He just chose not to comment. But that was the last straw for him. When Triple H approached him a few days later he basically said 'Screw these assholes. I'll show them who the Marty Jannetty of the Shield is. And they can do their own damn laundry from now on.' And that was that."

Roman sat silently for a few seconds letting this new information sink in. Then he said, "I still don't get it, Dean. What's the problem then? He's showing us, alright. He had a spectacular match last night at the Rumble. He's fighting the face of the company John Cena himself all the time on Raw. He's Mr. Money In The Bank. What more does he want?"

"Oh come on, Roman! How long did we all travel together? Don't you know our little brother at all? He is his own worst critic. In his mind, if he's not on his way to becoming WWE World Heavyweight Champion, then he's a failure. And now he's convinced that he can't beat Brock. So, well, you do the math."

Roman sat down next to Dean and covered his face with his hands. "Ugh, Dean, I'm too tired for this. Can't we just go back to blaming everything on Seth? Life is easier that way."

"Look, Roman, I know it is hard for you to understand. You have a beautiful wife and daughter. A huge family filled with aunts and uncles and sisters and brothers and cousins. Me? I had you and Seth. And then Seth left. And Seth may have been a shitty brother, but honestly? So were you. At least Seth made it perfectly, painfully clear that he was done with me. You? You just started acting like we were mere acquaintances one day without bothering to inform me of our change of relationship status. So you can do whatever the hell you want. But me? I'm gonna find Seth."

And with that, Dean stood and walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean knew that finding Seth was easier said than done. Today notwithstanding, as a general rule if Seth didn't want to be found, then he couldn't be found. So Dean formulated a plan as he walked to the hotel. Tomorrow he would get up early and camp out in the hotel's gym. Dean reasoned that with Seth being the fitness nut that he was that he was bound to turn up there sooner or later. It's not like he had a lot of other options since he was currently trapped by a blizzard.

Content with his plan, Dean strolled into the hotel and was more than a little surprised to see Seth sitting rather dejectedly on a sofa in the hotel's lobby. Taking it as a sign, Dean plopped down beside him. "Whatcha doin'?" he asked.

" I was so busy storming out earlier that I totally forgot to grab my bag which just so happens to contain the key to my room and my wallet," Seth replied with a self-depreciating grimace. "I'm trying to work up enough willpower to go back. It's just so cold."

'You could just bunk with me tonight," Dean suggested casually. "Get your stuff in the morning."

Seth looked over at his former friend trying to gauge whether or not he was making a serious offer. "Why would you do that for me?" he asked.

"Well, I've been thinking," Dean said, "and I really was a pretty shitty brother to you before, and maybe I'm more to blame for how things turned out than I thought. Maybe we could. . . I don't know. . . start over?"

Seth groaned. "Now I feel like an even bigger asshole. What I said before, it was all bullshit excuses, Dean. You and Roman, you two were the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I complained about you guys treating me like your baby brother, but really I liked it most of the time. You know in my real family, well my biological family, I'm the oldest, so it was kind of cool to see what it would be like to have two older brothers to look after me. And if I was having issues, I should've trusted you enough to talk to you about them instead of, you know, hitting you in the back with a chair. I mean, you're not mind readers after all. It wasn't fair for me to try to make you feel bad. That's what I've been sitting here thinking about. No matter what, you had my back, and I went and stabbed you in yours. I screwed up, Dean. I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I am sorry. I want you to know that."

"Seriously, man. Does Roman, like, live in your head? You two keep saying the same things. It's kinda freaking me out. Anyway, you screwed up; I screwed up. You're sorry; I'm sorry. Let's move on."

"If it helps, I've decided to leave the Authority."

"Great!" Dean replied without hesitation. "I've got your back. Let's go raise some hell!"

"No!" Seth blurted. "No, Dean you can't. Don't you see? When I leave, it's not going to be pretty. There will be serious consequences. And if you help me, it will just bring you into the line of fire. I've hurt you enough."

"Oh, Seth," Dean smiled. "You should know me well enough to know that there's nothing I like better than a good fight."

Seth looked at him, clearly unconvinced. Dean shrugged. "Of course, you should do whatever you feel like you have to do. Why don't you sleep on it?"

Seth nodded in agreement and allowed Dean to lead him to his hotel room.

* * *

_Meanwhile back at WWE Headquarters. . ._

Roman was stunned. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. Could it be true? He had always taken so much pride in being a good big brother to his motley family. Could he have really failed both Seth and Dean? He knew that there had been a lot of distance between himself and Dean since Seth left them, but it just hurt so much to be around Dean now-too many memories. He had thought the feeling was mutual. Roman rubbed his hands over his face, bewildered. He felt like his whole world had just been turned upside down. He hadn't felt like this since. . . well, since that night.

For months now, he had pointedly tried to avoid thinking about Seth's betrayal. It only caused pain. But now he allowed the memories to rush over him-the confusion in the ring as it happened, the devastation on the drive back to the hotel, the anger in the aftermath. Wait. . . something niggled in Roman's mind. Something wasn't right. But what was it?

The rental car! Why did Roman have the keys to the rental car? Seth had always taken care of both the rental car and the hotel ever since. . . Roman couldn't help smiling abashedly at the memory. Once, right after the three of them had gotten together. Roman had made of the rental care reservations while Dean had handled the hotel. Roman had mistakenly rented a luxury SUV that had cost each of them three times what they were used to paying, and Dean had accidentally rented a room with only a king size bed. They were all so broke after paying so much for the rental car that no one wanted to pay for a second room. And then Roman and Dean had complained so heatedly over having to sleep three to a bed that Seth had ultimately taken one for the team and slept on the floor. Seth had deemed both Dean and Roman incompetent morons after this fiasco and subsequently taken care of everything himself. And things had run smoothly from then on. So why was the rental car in his name instead of Seth's that night?

Roman thought for a while and then vaguely remembered. Seth had come up to him that morning, the day of the betrayal, and told him that he was having some kind of problem with his credit card. He had asked him if he could take care of the reservations himself, and then handed him some info listing the names and phone numbers of the rental car place and the hotel that he had intended to use along with notes on what he thought would be the best deal. At the time, Roman had rolled his eyes at Seth and given him a hard time over his micromanaging. But now, Roman wondered: Was it just a coincidence? Roman still didn't know exactly when Seth had made his fateful decision. But wasn't it likely that Seth already knew at that point? And wouldn't that mean, then, that Seth had decided to look after his brothers one last time, even knowing that he was soon heading to the arena to betray them both? Why hadn't Seth just left them stranded in the arena? Wouldn't that have made his point that much clearer?

Roman shook his head gently, trying to clear his thoughts. He clearly needed to talk to Seth. And Dean. Despite Roman's earlier protests to the contrary, being booed by an arena full of people did make Roman more empathetic to Seth's insecurities. He hadn't done anything rash yet, but that's not to say that he hadn't been thinking about it really hard. And that was after just one night. Seth had gone months. It would be nice to have his brothers' support if he was going to face hostile crowds night after night. Well, Dean would be easy enough to find. The two might not be particularly close at the moment, but he couldn't help but notice that Dean had been assigned the room next to his. He would go to Dean, and then together they could talk to Seth. . . if they could find him.

* * *

Roman hesitated slightly before knocking on Dean's door. After their last interaction, he wasn't quite sure what kind of reception he would receive. When Dean opened the door with a smile, a quick hug, and a friendly greeting of "Rome, my man!" Roman was surprised. But he was much more surprised to see Seth sitting on the bed behind Dean.

Seth quickly rose to his feet but did not approach Roman. As Roman strode purposefully toward Seth, Seth steeled himself, fearing the worst. Seth was startled, therefore, when instead of receiving the punch he was anticipating, he instead felt Roman's arms wrap around him in a tight hug. Seth's arms automatically returned the gesture. Seth was even more shocked by Roman's words: "I've missed you, Seth."

Seth's response was immediate and heartfelt. "I've missed you, too, Rome. I've missed you so much."

"Hey, don't leave me out!" Dean cried out and leaped on them playfully with arms outstretched causing them all to tumble over onto the bed. Though there was still so much to work out, the three couldn't help but feel a sense of relief and homecoming. After many dark days, the future was finally looking brighter.

The End


End file.
